From The New York Times Submitted by Gerald G. Gersh, LCSW, BCD
Up front I want to say I do not agree with the article's ending that the philosophy of pessimism offers a solution to marital choices. However, the catchy title, "Why You Will Marry The Wrong Person", remarkably resembles the psychoanalytic concept of 'tolerating intimacy' that I use to help individuals and couples in their relationships.
The article echoes what I believe, which is that it's the capacity to "tolerate differences", which is one of the significant components necessary for a marriage to work. Finally, and more specifically, the author reiterates the following notion with which I agree. He states, "what we really seek is familiarity — which may well complicate any plans we might have had for happiness. We are looking to recreate, within our adult relationships, the feelings we knew so well in childhood."